How we still the storms of our lives
August 13, 2017
Matthew 14:22-33
Has there ever been a time that has not felt stormy? The prayers of the people that we are about to pray have to do with the stormy state of the world, as well as the storms in our own lives. Those prayers were written almost 20 years ago and feel as timely today as they did 5 years ago, 10 years ago, and 20 years ago. Statistically we are living in times with less violence, fewer deaths from diseases and homicide, and yet the storms in life whether they blow into our lives from faraway places, or closer to home, remains ever present.
Last week I mentioned that mountains are the place of revelation and inspiration. Conversely water is quite the contrary – it’s the place where chaos and destruction reign. As naïve as it sounds, I had no idea how frightening the sea could be until I saw the movie The Perfect Storm. It terrified me even sitting in the cinema. The scene that I remember most, besides the walls of waves crashing in on the sighing boat, was the scene when the meteorologist realize that all the conditions, the multiple fronts were coming together, and would wreak havoc and cause a trail of destruction on an epic scale.
The term the perfect storm has entered into common parlance. I think that we have all had the experience of the perfect storm. Where a number of events come together and we are just left feeling hopeless and despairing, where we feel a sense of impending doom, and it is hard to know what to do besides let your heart race and have your thoughts completely spiral out of control.
As I was thinking about this this week, I remembered what a psychotherapist, Albert, in my last congregation said about how our brains work – which can actually help us spiritually when things get rough.
Albert said that we all have three different sorts of brains in our heads. The first one is involuntary – what is called the reptilian brain. That is the brain that keeps our organs doing what they are supposed to do. We do not have to, for example, tell ourselves to breathe. It is also where the fight or flight or freeze response comes from. It reacts very quickly and wants to preserve your life the best way it can.
The second brain is the limbic or mammalian brain. It too operates subconsciously and is concerned with emotions and behavior. It is the part of the brain that adds a layer of control over the reptilian brain.
Then there is the neocortex enables purposeful behavior and allows us to plan for the future. Some people say this is what separates us from animals. This brain operates mostly on the conscious level. But here is an interesting statistic – only about 15% of our behavior is conscious, 20% tops. So what this means is that even when we think that we are using our conscious brain in our day to day interactions – we are often actually, subconsciously, being driven by something we have experienced in the past. You might experience this feeling if you are ever felt left out of a social event and all of a sudden you feel like you are emotionally back to middle school.
So, what makes life complicated is that the dominant voice or brain is the survival one. If we ever wonder why we why we reacted so strongly to something that was seemingly, on the surface, innocent – it’s that survival brain exerting its dominance over our conscious, logical brain.
And when we are in one of these emotional whirlwinds, it is really hard to believe that something or someone greater than ourselves can save us. But what our gospel lesson tells us is that if we can just take the baby step out of the safety of our boats that are being tossed in the sea, Jesus will take us by the hand and help calm the storm and set us on safer ground. I remember once I was really nervous about the health of a loved one and some other things that were going on, and the thought entered my mind, that said “do you really think this is too big to hand over to the God that created the universe” to which my first thought was like, “duh, I should have turned to you first God.”
So having thought about this all week, I want to share with you some practical ways you can pray when you feel overwhelmed
The first is the age old practice of prayer beads. The act of using prayer beads quiets that part of the mind that just doesn’t stop with the chatter – sometimes called the monkey mind. It’s the part of the mind that likes to catastrophize – the part that says, you’ll never survive this, everyone is mad at you, you look like a fool, did you turn off the oven by the way?, and you’ll never be successful or lovable. The prevalence of prayer beads throughout religions and cultures tell you how useful a tool they have been for people throughout the ages. I have three examples of prayer beads to show you. These are Buddhist prayer beads – and the person who made them for me said if you say a prayer for each bead, by the end you will feel much better. The rosary is a great resource because as you work through each bead and decade by reciting a rote prayer which quiets the mental chatter. This is my Anglican Rosary I received at my first communion. It is an Our Lady of Walsingham Rosary. And finally, here are some Anglican prayer beads – which you can find more about on-line about how to make them and how to pray them.
The second thing is prayer. Once you calm that part down in your brain – you can start praying things like the serenity prayer – God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference. And you can pray in whatever way you feel helpful. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that a simple sigh can be a prayer. Pray for what you want – pray for your fears – whatever you want – God can handle whatever you throw at God – no prayer is too selfish or too big or too small. God can take whatever prayer you send God’s way.
My third step is usually getting some wisdom. For me that is often selective sharing – I choose someone I really trust and I share my worries or concerns and listen to what thoughts they have, and I pay attention to any insights that come from that conversation. Or I might go on a long walk, organize the house, cook something, and let the insights come to me.
And the final step is spending some time really thinking and contemplating what I can do next or should or should not do next.
One of the things that we can do – if you are like to be creative is to create a spiritual bullet journal (see examples by googling or going to Pinterest). Bullet journals are really popular now – and you can pretty much do anything you want with them – you can put your calendar in there, to-do lists, list goals and aspirations. But you can also create one to help you weather the storms in your life. You can write down prayers that mean something to you, lists of prayer concerns, or bible passages that have given you strength in the past, or quotes by spiritual heavy weights, or inspirational poems. It is a place to turn to for a reminder of what has helped you in the past. Creating a prayer journal is also an act of prayer.
Creating a personal spiritual resource journal is sort of like a life boat drill on a boat. If you have all those spiritual resources at your fingertips, it is a little bit like a muster point you can return to again and again that will help you reach out to Jesus whenever you are feeling tossed about – which will help you move past fear and on to a place of comfort and peace.
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